Farewell Patt

Yesterday Chas’ mom died.

We had just seen her late the night before; she had gotten up out of bed on her own and called out for assistance to get to the bathroom. After we attended to her and tucked her back in, it was 1 in the morning.

We got up early to get ready for work and found her on the floor next to her bed. She was asleep and snoring, so Chas tried to rouse her. But she just wouldn’t wake. I walked in to see him calling to her and lightly slapping her face, but she snored through the whole thing. I called 911…

They came and could not revive her, so they took her to the Emergency Room down the block from us. Chas followed along and I zipped to the store to open it for our newest employee before getting the call from Chas: come back, because they want to remove the breathing tube and let her go.

Apparently she had massive bleeding on the brain. Whether caused by the fall or the reason for it they could not say. She was on blood thinners and apparently this is a concern when on them. I got there and then they removed the tube. She struggled a bit afterward, but then about 10 minutes later she passed as we comforted and sang to her.

I have never watched someone die before. Although I knew that she was already “gone”, I still was amazed at the simple energetics of being present while her souls became detached from her body. No longer a prison, her body became an empty vessel. Her life-force lingered, flickering in the room for a bit afterward, and then was gone.

Patricia Bogan Murray (born Patricia Mae Wellbrook), 1941-2009.
May you find footing on your continued journey, and may it bring you much peace, joy, and happiness.


50 responses to “Farewell Patt

  1. i’m so sorry for your and chas’ loss. i know the two of you devoted a tremendous amount of time, effort, and energy to making her comfortable and happy, and i know that she realized it. the two of you were troupers all the way through what must at times have seemed like a dispiriting and hopeless effort. but the efforts weren’t in vain when you consider the alternative: warehoused in some impersonal facility to face years of neglect and even possible abuse. you guys went way beyond the call of duty to make her last years pleasant, and i know she knew that.
    you are honorable men. r.i.p. patt. consolation and healing, storm and chas.

  2. My deepest condolences for you both — I’m so sorry.
    You were both so loving and dedicated to her, for so long. Blessings to you both, and to her as she crosses…
    ‘The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that you are loved.”
    (V. Hugo)

  3. We were so sorry to hear of it yesterday. Like said, you two did so much to make the last years of her life enjoyable, and are wonderful people for doing it. Blessed be her journey, and blessings on both of you. *hugs*

  4. Patt
    May she journey well and find blessing on her way. Quite an experience to care for someone and then watch as their life force passes from the body. May your and Chas’ memories of her bring pleasant memories.

  5. I’m sorry to hear about this. Many blessings and peace to both of you. May Patricia rest in peace.
    I experienced something similar to the life-force in the room when my cat died. It is a strange thing to experience.
    ~Muninn’s Kiss

  6. I really liked Patt. Whenever I saw her, I always imagined her when she was young. What I saw was a very charming young woman.
    You have my condolences and of course my support should you need anything at all. And I will shine a light for her.

  7. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. It was a pleasure meeting her in life. And I’ll light a candle for her to light her soul’s journey to the underworld. If you guys need anything please do not hesitate to ask for help. I’ll reach out to Chas too.

  8. Close to the both of you in such a painful moment. Yes, may she find peace and joy in her journey.
    I’m so proud of knowing the both of you, even though only LD.

  9. She was a beautiful woman and soul. I was glad to have met her and been in her presence. She was very blessed to have you and Chas there for her and loving her. My heart goes out to you and Chas and I am sending you Light and Love.

  10. I’m so sorry for your and Chas’s loss. But I’m glad to hear the actual process of dying wasn’t too difficult for everyone involved, and I’m happy that Chas’s mom is free now. May she rest before she returns in love.
    ::hugs to both of you::

  11. My condolences to you and to Chas. This must be a hard time for both of you. If you need a helping hand over the next few days, let me know.
    Hugs to both of you. And may Patricia be free to dance, laugh and love again.

  12. As I was reading this, and read the piece where she passed and you felt her energy linger in the room, I saw a bright yellow daffodil in my mind. I don’t know if it’s connected, but I usually pay attention when things like that occur. If you have a service for her, have some daffodils, if you can find them.
    Blessings on you both, and love to Patt who is with the Lady.

  13. Storm, I am so sorry for Chas’ and your loss. I know that she was ill for such a long time, and that this is a release and rest for all. But still, it is a trauma to go through it – and one that we all must face sooner or later. My thoughts and prayers go out to you both.

  14. Blessings on your journey Patt. And Blessings to you and Chas as well, Storm. The love and care you showed her during her final years was and will be an inspiration to me and many others.

  15. May you both find the comfort you need. Be especially gentle with each other. Take time to make space for the changes that will come now.
    May she rest in peace.
    (I know it isn’t quite the same thing, but when I had to put Ian to sleep a few weeks ago, I was caught off guard on how the light left his eyes so quickly.)

  16. always so hard to know just what to say in moments like this – words are not adequate and yet they are all we have at times.
    know that you and Chas are loved – and that love lives on through all the realms and all the worlds – it continues, persists and endures.

  17. I am so sorry for your loss.
    I know that you both took good care of her and were very loving and gentle to her. When I saw her, I could see she knew it too and felt safe and happy with you. I watched my grandmother take care of my grandpa for years before he passed – your love and your care make a huge difference and are so appreciated by the person you care for. I am sorry for your loss but hope it is some comfort to know that she died with you, in a familiar place, with people she loved who loved her.

  18. Dear Storm and Chas,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry for your loss. Being with someone as they pass from this life is truly a profound experience. I was fortunate to be with my father when he died, and I will never forget the feeling in the room. Many blessings to you both, and to Patt.

  19. Hi, guys.
    I’m sorry I didn’t find out about this sooner – June 30 to September 1 – guess we’re traveling in different circles. I wanted to send a message of comfort to you both, who have been so selfless in your care of Patt. I saw the picture you put up of the altar that Chas made, beautiful, and doubtless just the way she would have liked it. Take care…

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