Stolen from the journal of: suthrnboyinca:
You will be sucked dry by a leech. I’d stay away
from swimming holes, and stick to good old
cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when
your toe scrapes the bottom.
If it wasn’t for the fact that my Feri teacher was and is a wonderful and balanced person I seriously think I would have left a long time ago. When dealing with factions of the community I have seen such ugliness, and yet I knew what these tools did for me, and I saw how my own teacher embodied them. If nothing else this alone has given me hope that Feri tradition, when practiced correctly, can be a source of much power and growth.
I received the following email from my Feri teacher about this recent conflict and I am presenting it here in its entirety because I think it addresses quite nicely the issues that are at play here.
So I was asked today if I would agree to a formal mediation regarding the Fundi Feri Woman. (I guess she didn’t like my response to her email.) She apparently contacted a third party who then contacted me with the request. I thought about what that would mean, and what purpose it might serve. After giving it some thought I decided that I was not interested. I have no intention of having a relationship with this person so what’s the point? Since my goal is to have nothing to do with her (and I would actually prefer to never even think of her again, if possible) I fail to see how a meditation would be a fruitful thing for me. I also find that it is useless to engage a crazy person, so I sincerely doubt it would do anything other than waste my energy. Oh sure, it looks good on paper, and maybe if this person were in my coven, or another social circle that I was a part of then I might see the value in it. But I must also question her motivations behind the request. I can only conclude that it was likely a political one. Now she can say, “Well, I tried! But he isn’t interested in working it out!” That’s fine. I find myself not caring what the Fundi faction thinks anymore. I have heard from so many Feri initiates that we are not really a “community” anyway so to what end could said mediation serve? I said my piece. I’m done. I left the initiates-only list just after my last post here so I need not engage the toxicity there anymore either. That’s OK… all the people that I really have a connection with from there I seem to have connections with elsewhere too.
My own teacher did not engage the Feri community pretty much as a matter of principal. Now I am beginning to see why.
I have some more thoughts about the issues that are a part of this particular conflict. I think those issues are worthy ones to address. I will likely post to that end later. For now I’m just feeling rather free.
**EDIT: It looks like I jumped to an erroneous conclusion about her motivations for asking for the mediation. Thank you Elfwreck for pointing that out to me. It doesn’t change my mind about it, but it is nice to know that it wasn’t a manipulative ploy.
OK… I really feel the need to vent about something and since this is my personal journal it feels like the best place to do it. I realize that many (most) of you are not familiar with the Feri tradition. For my Feri students… well, maybe after reading this rant (yes, a rant) you will decide that I’m not as enlightened as you thought I was. That’s OK. I have never claimed to be anything other than human (and right now I am a royally pissed-off one.) For those of you NOT affiliated in any way with Feri, then this might shed a little light on what I have been dealing with lately. Of course you’ll probably just think I’m stupid for having put up with people like this for so long…
All comments will be screened… I just don’t want to deal with the crazy element.
But first a little history…
I offer another poem…
Within my Chest, This Fire
When rapture formed within my heart
like shining diamonds made of fire
and the blackness receded like the night at dawn
and a spring rain fell gently
upon my face
and I was nourished by the touch of it
by the touch of you.
I am alive! Now and forever…
I dance and dance and sway to the beat
of your heart against my chest
our lips pressed together… so soft…
Your skin bathed in moonlight
a secret radiance and I bear witness
to the handiwork of the Gods
within your smiling eyes.
Reply to this entry by posting a picture of yourself in the comments, then post this sentence in your own journal.